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It’s a bit vulgar however, it’s lit and it boosts my head up so...

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August 22, 2018

I wish things would just fast forward. We have to grow and grow up. I want him to do better. I want to do better myself, too. I’m fully prepared to take care of him through this and give him the love and affection he needs to keep pushing. I think I love him past the “ you don’t know what love is “ thing. How long does that even last? When do you KNOW what love is? I’m pretty sure I love him but I know somebody’s gonna come around and say I don’t because I’m too young and whatever. I’m ready to move on and live life. I’m ready to be a mom and a wife and all of that but it takes time and I’m impatient. I’m about to push and work so I can be what I need to be for my future and I’m going to give it all I’ve got. Hopefully he takes this conversation the right way and does what I need him to do. I’m not excited about it but ... it has to happen. I want him in my life. I want him to get checked out. I want him to grow up. I want him to be okay. No matter what. I hope everything works out well. I’m going to pray it does. It isn’t a goodbye. It won’t be unless he makes it into one.

God please bless me and everyone reading this post. Bless “him”. Bless my family. Bless my friends. Bring us good health and happiness and love and wealth and protection. Give everyone what they’ve been dreaming for and that they’ve been wanting out of life help everything work out wonderfully and seamlessly. Heal any wounds and bring me closer to my purpose in life. Thank you for everything you’ve done and will do. In Jesus’ name I pray, amen.

I took the day off. I didn’t really work on anything today or so anything productive. I feel bad, yes, but I needed the day, I guess.

I wonder what he’s doing right now. He’s not responding to my texts. He didn’t answer my call. He seems off today. He really scared me last night. I hope everything is okay. I’m honestly worried.

Pauly D is my Jersey Shore crush. I don’t care. I don’t care. He’s.... anyway. Moving on. Back to my show.

I haven’t smoked today. I smoked yesterday but not today. Maybe it doesn’t have to be an every day thing. But, I feel okay. It’s the end of the first season of Jersey Shore. I’m kind of sad but I’m going to start watching Flavor of Love again before I start the second season. I can’t wait to watch these on my tv in my new room. I’ll have a few days to just chill out, too. I’m going to give myself a week of just relaxing and chilling before I start the nonstop working. I’m about to work my patootie off, folks.

That Sponge Bob gif is me when I realized I was at the end of the first season 😂

Mystery song of the day