Click here to go back

I have a theory, guys. I’m having some treacherous allergies today so during this entire thing, I’m blowing my nose and sneezing and all of that gross stuff. Maybe they’re trying to get me already. Hear me out before you deny it or call me crazy, though! Just listen:

So, I was having a hot shower deep thinking moment and it produced the thought that life is just a distraction. This is only part one of the theory. But, think about it. There is literally a whole galaxy with uncharted and new, exciting and maybe even deadly things to explore yet you’re worried about getting to work on time or getting your heart broken by a boyfriend or what you’re going to wear to that party tonight. I am by no means saying let’s go become astronauts BUT, again, think about it... Either we are using “life” to keep our minds from wandering too far out of the box OR... we’re being forced to think that way. We, as humans, fear the unknown and the world beyond us is a huge unknown. It might as well be a blank white space with a red question mark. What if this is what “they” want us to feel? (I know, where’s my tin foil hat?) But, you can’t say this isn’t making sense. Because jobs are MAN MADE. Clothes? MAN MADE. Relationships? MAN MADE. All forms of deliberate distraction aka entertainment, social media, etc... MAN FREAKING MADE! I’m not saying we should spend our days worrying about how the sun will swallow us up one day but, I definitely think life should be about more than what’s in front of us. Why create money? Why create social classes? In short, it’s for control but I think it brings along the wrong control. It comes with too many injustices and unfair treatments of people who are shamed for simply being born with a different shade of skin. There is something much bigger than us going on behind the scenes. Wayyyy bigger than we can imagine and I pray I’m not alive to see it.

Part two!! What if it’s all a simulation. Like the episode of Black Mirror “Hang the DJ” where they date in a simulation app and go through several different partners that were chosen for them to test the waters. In the end, they rebelled and ended up escaping the simulation that got us to the end and showed that it was only the inner workings of a dating app. In a way, I think that may be what’s happening. Now, do I think it’s for a dating app? No. BUT, I think maybe it has something to do with evolution and reincarnation put together. I think we do, in fact, reincarnate into different evolutionary periods. And when we finally “die”, we go into another dimension and live our REAL lives. Maybe this life is to prepare us for the one we will have. Because where did God come from? Who birthed him??? Who birthed aliens?? Did God just start with a blank white room in his home and turn it into the universe??? But again, another evolutionary period. There were centuries before us and it was trial and error. Maybe there are scientists working on us and trying to train us up and they’re waiting on someone to “rebel against the simulation” so they can release us into life. We reincarnate into different situations to learn and experience different things to be prepared for our real lives. We could be experiments or test subjects.

I really don’t know my views on religion anymore. I think religion may be one of the biggest distractions in “life”, though. Because technically you aren’t living your own life. You’re living for God and doing what HE wants. Just like a satanist is living for the Devil and doing what he wants. You’re not your own person. If you’re offended, I’m sorry. I don’t mean to but again, where did God come from? WHY did he create Earth? Does he not get bored with us like I get

bored of playing with my Sims? You’re telling me, all God does is sit and stare at us and listen to us and make stuff happen? He’d throw us away and forget about us if he’s a human and before you say it- he had to be a person before he was “God”. I don’t care what you say. What was his life like before he was “God”? Did he have one? Was he a lonely child who wanted friends? As anyone tried to look deeper into who God is as a PERSON and not a deity? People say he’s a different case and we are not on the same level as god and everything can be answered or excused with “because he is God”. But there are no REAL answers. Again, I’m not saying he doesn’t exist but I will look more into it myself and find my own answers because every Christian’s response will be something along the lines of “He rose from the dead. He’s God and he protects us. He did this and that for me”. I don’t know about y’all but good things have happened to me and I didn’t pray for them or thank God for them every single time. Sorry about it. But, let’s be honest. We don’t always pray and keep from sinning like we’re “supposed to” and life goes on.

I’ll wrap it up for today because my food is almost here and I’m starving, But, in conclusion, I AM a Christian. By force, maybe but I’m going to look into Christianity as well as many more religions and see what I come up with. I just realized I may be a Christian out of fear. So if the world ends or I’m close to death, I can pray to God and say that I believed in him all along so I won’t be damned to Hell. I have had my own experiences that push me to believe he’s real but the more I think into it, the more I question it. And Christianity is a religion that can easily say “go look at the Bible” instead of giving a real explanation.

Okay, I’m really done now. My food is here and I’m typing this with one hand and my other hand has soup in it. I really want to eat my food in peace.

September 7, 2018

Need help?